Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

By Joel Comm June 27, 2008 No Comments   

Recently, an event took place which caused widespread shock, dismay, and all-around sleepiness.
The rotation of the earth plunged the entire North American continent into darkness.
It was a life-changing event, causing untold millions of workers to flee their jobs and take refuge in bars, restaurants, and their own homes.
The Onion wrote an excellent in-depth article on the phenomenon, as well as its effect on individual Americans.
That report is today’s FamilyFirst pick.

Here’s a highlight from the article:

As the phenomenon hit New York, millions of motorists were forced to use their headlights to navigate through the blackness. Highways flooded with commuters who had left work to hurry home to their families. Traffic was bottlenecked for more than two hours in many major metropolitan areas. Across the country, buses and trains are operating on limited schedules and will cease operation shortly after 12 a.m. EST, leaving hundreds of thousands of commuters in outlying areas effectively stranded in their homes.

It’s nothing to panic about, friends. The important thing is to keep calm.

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