Divorce Devastation Turns to Reinvention – 6 Tips on How to Get Your Life Back from Rachel WrightSeptember 9, 2010 4 Comments
Getting a divorce is like getting punched in the stomach over and over – there’s almost nothing that feels good about it. Things you never thought you’d have to say or do become reality. Your former spouse turns into someone you don’t recognize. This extreme makeover of your life can either steamroll over you, or you can stand up and make the best of it. You might be surprised how much you can change after this kind of life event.
Rachel Wright is the author of Bye-Bye Boardroom: Confessions From A New Breed of Stay-At-Home Moms and Mom’s Night Out: Even Inmates Get Time Off for Good Behavior. She is a well-known expert in all things “mom” having appeared on The Today Show and in numerous publications. She founded “Mom’s Night Off” a national campaign to encourage moms to take time off from the kids and do something for themselves.
Wright spoke to Family First about her top recommendations on how to both cope with divorce and how to come out of it a better person.
- Create a mission statement for yourself about your priorities in your life – maybe it’s to always put the kids first, or get a better job so you don’t lose your house, or find quality relationships going forward.
- Attitude is everything. Remember you are not a victim – you hold the reins for your future and the life you make from that. “You can’t control what’s happening but you can control how you react,” says Wright.
- Don’t give up hope. You are NOT alone. Divorce is a rebuilding process so use your support group – friends, family, pets, and religious organizations – whatever you need to help you get through.
- Rome wasn’t built in a day – hang in there. It took all those years to build your life as a married couple; it will take time to build your life as a single person.
- Expect the best – when you get into a cycle of despair, bad things usually follow. The flip side of that is when you bring positive things into your life, it’s like a snowball – good things start to happen. You become like a magnet and people are drawn to you. You need to send out the right vibes to bring the right kind of people into your life.
- Ask for help – it’s ok. Especially if you tend to be “Type A”- the kind of person who thinks you can “handle it.” Let go and let people help you. You do not have to be “Superwoman (or Superman) with an ‘S’ on your chest,” says Wright. You don’t have to have all the answers. And ask yourself why you reject help to truly understand why you wouldn’t want a little assistance.
Divorce is a scary and yet exciting time – it’s a chance for you to build a brand new life, the way you want to and without the “input” of someone else. It takes time to unwind the life you had and build the life you’ll have going forward. Wright says your attitude is absolutely the most important aspect of all of this change.
About Rachel Wright
(From her website) Rachel Wright is not your ordinary soccer mom. She has been named one of the “Most Remarkable Women” on ABC’s The View and has been featured as an expert on The Today Show, sharing her sage advice with millions of women. Rachel has been highlighted in Glamour magazine for her philanthropic advances and was recognized for her ongoing community endeavors as one of the “Eckerd 100 Outstanding National Volunteers.” Her versatile background has made her a go- to Mom expert, where she has been quoted in publications ranging from The Wall Street Journal to American Baby magazine. In the spring of 2007 Rachel founded National Mom’s Night Out, (now known as Mom’s Night Off) an extremely successful campaign, to encourage moms to take time off from the kids and celebrate who they are besides being a mom.
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