Demystifying Your Newborn to Toddler’s Mind from Amazing Minds’ Author Jan Faull

From Day One, moms try to figure out what their child is thinking – is she hungry, cold, wet, sick? Moms are also trying to understand what their babies are learning. What’s going on in their heads beyond their basic needs? Now, there’s a book that helps demystify all these thoughts swimming around your baby’s head. Jan Faull has written the just-released book Amazing Minds The Science of Nurturing Your Child’s Developing Mind with Games, Activities and More (Berkley Trade Paperback Original; August 2010 ISBN 978-0-425-23224-8 with Jennifer McLean Oliver).

Did you know that babies as young as one day old can differentiate your face from that of a stranger? Or that a six-month-old already knows what happens when moving objects collide with stationary ones? Parents don’t need shelves full of DVDs or courses in sign language to be full-capable of supporting a child’s intellectual and emotional growth. When parents work in sync with their child’s natural development, they can open up a whole new world of exciting communication of their own! (from a recent press release).

Faull took the time to answer some questions from Family First that will shed some light on the details of your child’s mind.

1) What are 3-5 things you may not know your baby is thinking?

From birth a baby thinks or knows, “I’m fragile.  I know I can’t survive on my own. I need to search for a person who will take care of me securing my survival. Once I locate that person, and she or he (mom and dad) proves to be a reliable caregiver, I’ll relax because I know that they’ll do everything possible so that I’ll not only survive but thrive.”  Babies are programmed to survive.  Somehow they know that they are fragile so when they connect with a few loving responsive caregivers, they’ll survive. 

Within only a few hours or days after birth they recognize the faces of mom and dad (grandma and/or nanny).  They also recognize their smell, touch and voice.  When these people are in baby’s vicinity, baby isn’t stressed as she knows that this person will do the most to secure her survival.

A baby is also interested in how objects move.  If he could talk he might say, “Oh look at the way certain objects move.  Some can dodge each other, while others bump into each other.  One seems to move by an internal force, I’ll put those into one category. The others appear to move by an external force needing to be pushed, pulled or tossed to move around, I’ll put those objects into another category.” 

As it turns out babies between 5 and 7 months put objects into two categories, animate and inanimate.  By doing so they can more successfully determine how an object will move so that when they begin to crawl, they will be able to plan for certain events:  “Oh, here comes a person, he’ll go around me.”  “Oh no, there goes a toy car, it can’t stop itself, it’s going to crash into the wall!”

At about six months your baby begins to think about disappearing and reappearing objects.  You go into your closet, then you reappear.  Jack goes into his box; he pops out again.  The child slips a block under a cloth, allows it to stay there a little while and then checks to see if it will still be there.  The child is a little scientist testing his hypothesis that objects—all objects in all situations—continue to exist when out of sight. That’s why babies love playing peekaboo.

A baby at first thinks that everyone thinks as she does and then she realizes that people have minds of their own.  A baby might be thinking, “Hum, that’s interesting, you appear to like broccoli, and I don’t like it. How can that be?”  If the child is 14 months he doesn’t believe it.  He’ll think, “You couldn’t possibly have a different desire than I.”  But when the child is 18 months, he now realizes that you can have different desires.  You can like broccoli and he may not.  He realizes that you have a mind and emotions different than his and he’s fascinated by it.  He actually sets out to determine where the two of you are like-minded and where you have conflicts of desires.  

2) What are the different communication methods (for parents/from kids) for certain age groups – like newborn, infant, toddler? 

Newborns cry to communicate, parents actually learn to read their cries.  Plus, babies have various states of alertness and sleep.   Parents learn to read their cues for care.  The child might be saying with facial expressions and body language, “I’m tired, don’t talk to me now, caress me and let me sleep.”  Or, “I’m alert now, talk to me,” or,  “I’m alert and curious about that mobile moving about over my head, don’t interrupt me, I’m interested in it right now.”

Babies babble with their parents and others; it’s actually the beginning of conversation.  When babies babble they like their parents to babble back copying their vocalizations or talking using their best form of parentese.   

At about 12 months children begin to speak their first 10 words: mama, dada, there, oh oh, what’s that?, more,  gone, juice, doggie and ball.  These words reflect their leaning agenda. 

By 18 months children understand far for than they can express.  If one day you say, “Where in the world did I put my keys?”  Don’t be surprised if your toddler locates them under a magazine on the coffee table. It’s important to talk to children even if they don’t yet talk for themselves, they’re picking up communication from you and soon will be learning words rapidly and speaking them.

3) Explain some differences between commonly-held theories of parent-led development versus what’s really happening in your baby’s mind

Many parents will take a toy and try to play with it engaging their baby.  It’s important for parents to know that up until about 12 months, children can either interact with the parent enjoying babbling back and forth with the parent, watching her facial expressions and possibly imitating them, or they can focus on a toy.   Babies can’t interact with the toy and the parent at the same time.

Then at about 12 months, children can involve themselves in three-way interactions involving a toy, dad and himself.  It’s called the cognitive triangle. 

So the best approach is to allow the child to examine a toy with the eyes, mouth or hands without interrupting.  And then at another time interact with the child without including any toys.  Use your voice, eyes and expressions to excite and interest your child. 

Once your child turns 12 months look for your child to point at objects.  When she does, you’ll know that she’s ready to receive information from you about the objects, completing the cognitive triangle.

4) Love the part in the book about Parenteze – the story of the Washington Huskies playing with babies – what else can you say about speaking Parenteze?

Parents need not be shy about using their best form of parentese or child-directed speech.  Your baby pays attention to it, she’s leaning the speech sounds of your language by hearing you make these over-accentuated high pitched vocalizations.  Even if your boss comes to see your new baby, don’t hold back, pull out your best form of parentese, your boss will be impressed as to how your baby pays attention to this unique form of communication that’s universal.   

5) What about all those so-called early development things parents do – music in utero/early reading/early language programs – are they really going to make your kid smarter or put them ahead of the game?

The truth is that they probably do no harm but they probably don’t make baby smarter either.   

6) Maybe a little more background on the book as it relates to these questions.

It seems that babies arrive with a learning agenda all their own. When parents are aware of this agenda they’re better able to meet their interactions with that agenda.   Babies need responsive care, but a little goes a long way.  For example, we know that babies are attracted to black and white stripes, this doesn’t mean that parents need to put black and white wall paper in the baby’s room or wear black and white striped bowling shirts. I just means that if a child is gazing at a contrast between black and white that parents should honor and respect her doing so and not get in the way.

When parents understand their baby’s cognitive development that takes place in a social environment that’s emotionally responsive, parents will have more fun and enjoy parenting their child more.  They can relax knowing they’re providing what their baby needs to not only survive but thrive.

Other topics covered in the book include:

*  Information on what’s going on inside your child’s amazing mind
*  Explanations about what your child needs and what motivates his or her behavior
*  Innovative approaches to parenting that nurture your child’s development
*  Fun games that support learning and deepen the parent-child relationship

About Jan Faull

(from the back of Amazing Minds) Faull has a Master’s Degree in Education and has taught parent education, child development, and behavior guidance for more than twenty-five years. She is the author of the Your Brilliant Baby and Your Clever Toddler series at Babyzone.com. She has written for Ladies’ Home Journal, Healthy Kids, American Baby, and Better Homes and Gardens’ online service, as well as Disney’s online service for parents. She also wrote a weekly parenting comun for the Seattle Times for ten years.