5 Tips for the Best Negotiations

Whether you’re negotiating a big contract for your company or asking your spouse for something important, strong body language can make a big difference.

Dr. Carol Kinsey Goman, writer, speaker and body language expert give these 5 tips to convey the strongest body language for negotiators.

Attitude is everything

No matter how bad your day is going, how tired you feel or what mood you are in, when you walk into an important negotiation, Goman says you must pull your shoulders back, hold your head up, smile and lift your eyebrows when you make eye contact in a “hi there” sort of extra greeting.

Goman says make eye contact with everyone in the room and hold the gaze long enough to note each person’s eye color.

The Handshake

Most people in business have been given some sort of “handshake training” but Goman has a few new tips to consider or remember.

You should initiate the handshake if possible. Lean forward into the shake and extend your hand facing sideways.

Face the person squarely, maintain eye contact and smile.

In the shake, maintain palm contact and make sure the web of your hand (the skin between your thumb and forefinger) touches the other person’s.

Make your grip firm but not crushing – a limp grip comes off as weak or timid.

Hold onto the person’s hand an instant longer than you would be inclined. This is a little extra connection to the person.

Begin speaking before you let go – “nice to see you” or introduce yourself.

When you do break eye contact, don’t look down. This conveys submission. Instead, look to the side, as an equal.

Build Rapport Some More

When you maintain eye contact, smile and nod your head, it shows your interest and engagement with the other party. Also, subtle mirroring of the other person helps keep you in rapport but make sure you’re not too obvious about it, says Goman. Allow 2-3 seconds to go by before changing your posture to mirror the other.

Be Confident

Spread out, says Goman. Stand up straight and move around if you are standing. When you fold your arms over your body or cross your ankles, you appear to be hiding. If you are seated, spread your belongings out on the table. If you are behind a podium, try to move from behind it. When you are standing, keep your knees bent and your feet apart, not together.

Leave a positive impression

Just as important as your initial impression, your final impression should convey warmth and confidence and leave your counterpart with the desire to do business with you again. Stand up tall and shake hands warmly upon your exit.

For more about this and other tips and information, please check out Goman’s website at www.silentlanguageofleaders.com and her book “THE SILENT LANGUAGE OF LEADERS: How Body Language Can help – or Hurt – How You Lead.”

Goman is an executive coach, change-management consultant, and international keynote speaker at corporate, government, and association events. She’s a expert contributor for The Washington Post’s “On Leadership” column, a leadership blogger on Forbes.com, and a business body language columnist for “the Market” magazine.

Marijo Tinlin is the editor in chief of Family First, one of the oldest family-oriented websites on the internet. She is also the author of the new book “How to Raise an American Patriot, Making it Okay for Our Kids to Be Proud to Be American” available at www.raisinganamericanpatriot.com.